I have this conversation often with my friends and my husband.
Sometimes after I leave an event I am physically and emotionally drained. The physical goes without saying but the emotional end is hard to explain, especially when I leave a job feeling like it wasn't "good enough".
Everyone tells me its magic or, art. Every client we leave is over the moon and photographers clamor to snap pictures before the guests dive in, but sometimes to me it's just, weak.
"I could have done better, why did I put the jelly there, the almonds should have been solo at the front & not in a dish, why did I pick up cookies with pink frosting when cream colour would have looked better, the Brie wheel is so oddly placed".
Deep inside I realize no one else will pick up on those things, and my husband often tells me, "You're so hard on yourself!"; but that creative part of my brain sees it differently, with the table as a blank canvas and once completed it then finds the little things that should have been painted out differently.
Maybe that comes hand in hand with an artist's ability to create. Did Picasso finish his work often feeling unsatisfied? Did it ever feel, finished?
Now don't get your cheese in a mold, I'm not directly comparing myself to the great Picasso, but indirectly, it all comes down to creating and visions and leaving it all on the table.
There is wild satisfaction the following day when the feedback in genuinely pure and of high praise and you realize you haven't actually just ruined someone's wedding, or black tie event. No one noticed the dish of jelly was a bit too full. In fact, they're so busy raving about the flavour they probably picked that dish up and licked it clean.
Even though each event plays out with rave reviews after the fact, there are more times than not that I walk away from a job feeling emotionally drained and unsatisfied with my work.
Do you ever feel that way? What's your thoughts on why this is?
One of my goals for 2024 ...
To conquer the feeling of imperfections and just allow myself to create without self judgement after the fact.
Cue the oddly placed Brie though:
AUTHENTIC STYLE
Having your own style is what makes you and your brand unique, and (I see this so often in this profession) when you copy someone else's work/style, you are not being authentic to your creative self.
It's okay to be different, it's okay to push your goal posts and go with your own creativity. In fact, you must! You can't bring your passion and your style if you are consistently planning off of someone else's.
We all admire and feel inspired by someone else's work often, but its very important to give them credit for that inspiration if you replicate it.
Any one who has come before you has already done a lot of the leg work, that enabled you to get started. Giving credit where it is due will not hold you back, or make you seem less than ... in fact, it opens up the universe to send you further in your journey, it makes you approachable to be recommended and it will gain you a whole new world of entrepreneurial friendships from people you can learn a lot from.
We gained our love of Graze in 2017 from some amazing & creative women in Australia. I researched this style obsessively within our own country and learned there were only a few company's (Hello Hanna w/ ala Table! <3) across Canada, and none were in the Atlantic Provinces.
We dreamed up our future plan and finally brought our brand to life in 2018. We hit the ground running, not with a small box or board but with a full Grazing Table for 60.
My husband thought I was insane. My friends thought I was a genius.
Did I know exactly what I was doing, hell no. Did I take style points from other companies before me, of course! But, I made sure those inspirations were from out of country companies because I did not want to be THAT woman that was stepping on anyone's toes, and I really wanted to feel that this was my creation.
I'm cringy when I look back on my early work now and see the layout.
I hadn't yet found my own style, and that only came with experience and allowing myself to be truly authentic.
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